When will I progress spiritually?
I have been attending all sessions of Ashtavakra, at times I feel I have all the “theoretical” knowledge but wonder why it is not sinking in deeper! Lately, my mind is just jumping from one thing to another…I have not even completed the thought and I drop it and move to another task! Amazing how I am losing the continuity of the task and the mind is jumping around like a ping-pong ball! To top it I don’t even get sleep…I hardly sleep 2 hrs in the night and then I am awake and restless!
I am on Chapter 13 but looks like none of the 5 qualities have ‘established” Yet! Feel sad that gaining all this “gnyana” has been on the intellectual level only so far…though there are some aspects that have changed…the feverishness has reduced to some extent, tolerance has increased (unless the storm hits)…few other changes too…but, not where I wish I was! Oh, when will I be there? Not asking in feverishness but in Wonder! In spite of all this, why is my mind still “STUCK” in worldly maaya?
You have taken so many lifetimes to spoil this little brat called mind, now it’s going to take its own time to get trained dear…. respect Time Karma! Respect the law of Niyati! It will happen when it needs to. Until then keep reminding yourself of the following 3 main points:
1] Gahana karmanogati – Unfathomable are the ways of Karma! You never know which karma is because of what and why and how long?
So it is best to let go of thinking too much and questioning it. It makes more sense to just go with the flow. Going with the flow means, just like a leaf flows with water, you flow with the current of life. Karma is the kinetic energy that moves life. So drop fighting and struggling against the current of this kinetic. Just smile and be with what is!
2] Have patience with yourself! Patience is the highest requirement on this spiritual path. Nobody can become a professional guitarist overnight, right? Just like that, the mind needs some time to mature out of its Karmic impressions and become a Yogi…… You will get there! Keep faith in your own efforts at-least dear.
3] Wonder at everything! Wonder at your own mind! Wondering is not questioning. Wonder is an exclamation! Wonder is Amazement! Just be amazed at the mind…. at this world….. at how Maaya grips this world….. and how Maaya grips you! How after so much knowledge you still fall short before the power of Maaya….. Be amazed by the ginormity of Maaya……Move from questioning to Wonder. Drop all questions! Just live in amazement!
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