Question:

I am a very competitive and jealous person in the office, at home, with family & friends and especially in my volunteer activities. Now this competition is coming into my spiritual side also, I want to be a teacher like you. Nothing less than you will suffice. I have become extremely competitive with you. I am not jealous of you because I adore you like crazy, but is this competition good?

Answer:

First, let’s take a look at the source from where this Vasana of competition or jealousy stems.

Take your mind back to the advent (beginning) of this creation. You were in a pool of consciousness. You came out of that pool of peace because of the ignorance of ‘I’. This notion of ‘I’/ Ego is the first thing that is born. It separates you from God/Supreme higher power/Supreme energy/Pool of consciousness.

Ego is nothing but a Vasana. That Vasana is what brought you into this Samsara.

Suppose a bird comes in through an open window and all the rest of the windows of the house are closed except that one window. Have you noticed, he keeps struggling with all the other windows to get out but he does not try the window through which he came in? Even if you try to propel him towards the open window, he will still struggle and peck on the closed windows.

Humans are also like that. We think that that which brought us into this Samsara, how can that be the way out? But actually, that is the only way out.

The same Vasana, the same door, that leads you into this Samsara, can also lead you out of this.

The ‘Ego’ or ‘I’ when it attaches to the external world of people/situations/things brings you OUTWARDS towards the Samsaara. That same ‘Ego’ or ‘I’ needs to change its direction and look INWARDS and attach itself to an inner spiritual object like a scripture/Guru/teacher/spiritual companion. That spiritual object has just substituted the material object. The vasana of attachment remains the same. This spiritual object along with its vasana now drives you INWARDS, and you start the journey of looking for your own true SELF. Just before Self-realization, the last attachment to the spiritual object also drops .

Vasana takes you out! Vasana brings you back in!

So, having understood this let’s look at your sense of competition or jealousy. At least your competition from the material side has moved to the spiritual side. That means the direction of the Vasana has changed from the OUTER material to the INNER spiritual world! Good job! Now keep moving within.

I accept being your spiritual object. Come, lets strive together to rise higher on the ladder of spiritual knowledge. Strive hard so that you do not stop short of anything less than Enlightenment. Make intensive efforts even if it means giving up all this Samsara of relationships, money, name, fame, career, etc, to attain self-realization. Come let’s walk hand in hand together out of the door of Vasana and back to our home. Do not make a home here because we are just travelers on a journey in this material plane. Would you ever build a house on a bridge? This is just a bridge and our destination is on the other side. Come let us cross this bridge together and go back home!