We have mentioned before that through meditation and seva we are able to get rid of some of the karmas in our bags, however, knowing that I am not the doer and no matter what I do the ball will keep rolling, how do those 2 thoughts work together? Is the ball truly rolling where it was going to roll in the first place (and my perception of the events is what has changed) or does it roll a little lighter because of the self effort being put in this lifetime through continuous practice and meditation?

Answer:

The ball does not need your permission to roll. It is rolling on account of Mahaa Maaya. You are a speck of mud stuck onto that rolling ball thinking it is moving because of you. This is your doership. Doership is created out of desire.

Everything that comes out of the desire “I want” is simply seeking. Whether it is “Kids should do her homework” or “My son Peter should get into medical school” or “I should be great at golf” or “I want to become an AOL teacher” or “I want 100 people to register for this course” …….. It’s bitter but its true! You are seeking! Vasishtha is telling us since page 1, everything is an illusion, drop this seeking. Ashtavakra has been telling you, you are not the doer, by you wanting it to happen, it does not happen. It happens when it must happen, if it must happen.

You understood that the ball is rolling but you need to understand that doership arises when you think it is rolling because of you. You are just that little speck of mud that is attached to that rolling ball. It is rolling and the scenery is changing for you. You think that you are choosing this and making that decision. NO! You do not exist. It is all a dream. One day the ball will kick you out and continue rolling. Scenery will still keep changing. Who are you in this entire picture?

The day you drop your doership and become a witness, you get rid of karmas and drop off the ball. The effort you make is to actually drop off the ball. That is the only Purushartha – self effort.