Question:

Jai Gurudev Ektaji,

For the past 3 months I have been regularly doing my sadhana every morning. Also, I have been listening to and reading knowledge more regularly than before. But I have noticed that I have become much more sensitive to my thoughts and emotions. The more I try to focus on the present moment, the more I feel uneasy. I have started feeling anxious and I can hear my heart beating louder and faster at times. I have never been like this and have always been much more relaxed and easygoing. I don’t understand what is happening to me. I have faith in my master and his teachings and would continue with my sadhana but I am curious to know. Please guide.

Answer:

If you feel anxiety, first thing to do is:

• 1. Visit a doctor. If you pass the doctor’s test and still feel anxious then probably…..
  2. Congratulations is in order! You are in Love! These are symptoms of love 😉

Jokes apart!

When you start walking this spiritual path, many different kinds of symptoms arise.

• • Some people behave like ‘Romantic Bollywood actors’, dreamy eyed, elated, always dancing and jumping around, smiling strangely, soaked in thoughts of the beloved [Love for the Guru, God, Self or Consciousness].
  • Some people can feel lost and extremely overwhelmed by the opening of an unknown door into an unknown vast spiritual land.
  • Some people can actually feel anxious and even despondent, because the mind is now retaliating in a subtle way against this new-found mind-killing remedy called ‘spirituality’. This happens to a few rare gems who start practicing [both technique & knowledge] sincerely, right from the beginning. Understanding the process from the mind’s point of view is very important:

• • • The mind is used to indulging in the objects of the 5 senses. Its always busy with sight, sound, smell, taste & touch.
    • Suddenly it notices that you have taken up a new journey of going within and establishing in Silence [Meditation].
    • This Silence is now taking up the time of the mind for indulgence in sense pleasures. It now starts feeling neglected.
    • A neglected child always throws tantrums. Tantrums are in the form of  anxiety/uneasiness/increased sensitivity, etc. It can have many other manifestations too. Be aware of the drama of this mind!

In either of the situations above, do not give over-importance to the emotions. Emotions are temporary, they come, they go.

Follow your intellect! Be well-founded in your practice and keep walking this path of self-discovery!