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My parents are old and they live alone in their country and I live here in the US. I want them to come here but they do not like to live here. They are really suffering as they are old and I cannot leave my family here and go there to take care of them. How do I deal with the suffering and misery my parents are going through in this old age? At the same time, my siblings/relatives in India do not take care of them much. Please help.



Everybody has their own karma that they must experience. One such karma is called Bhoomi Karma. Bhoomi means the land. You have some karma exchange with the land of USA. That is why even though you want to, you are unable to get out of here because of family and other personal responsibilities/issues.

Similarly, your parents have Bhoomi Karma to be in the country of their origin. They are unable to find peace when they come here, therefore the distance between you and them.

From your side, do your best to take care of them and visit them as much as you can. But always remember that there are certain aspects of karma that are beyond your control and you must not be feverish about being in control. Let go of ‘wanting to control’ everything in life because life does not take orders from anyone!

It is easy to let go! Spread your arms out, open your fist and let the wind of life blow at you! Leave it up to God/Universe/Consciousness and surrender your worry! Enjoy being worry free! Life has it’s own flow. Be with the flow of life rather than resisting it. By resisting, the flow is not going to go away, neither is the flow going to stop. By you resisting, you only increase your own suffering, stress and pain.

Even if the relatives do not take care of your parents, it is just the way the dynamics of karma are playing for your family. Beyond a certain point, you cannot do much! So until that point, be an impeccable son/daughter to your parents; take care of them, love them, and respect them! Do your best! After that you must learn to drop expectations that relatives, friends, and other people must also follow the same. Because your expectation is only the root cause of your suffering. Your relatives might not think like you. Let them have their freedom of thought and action.

One must practice incessantly to ‘drop this raaga for parents and the dvesha for their discomfort’. Everyone is born with his/her karma and must go through it. There is no short-cut to get yourself or anyone else out of their karmaphalam.

So you choose, whether you want to keep worrying for the rest of your life or you want to do your best and surrender to the universe?

In any case, develop the art of dropping the feverishness of being in control and finding the peace within yourself because that’s the only place it is in! Sukhi Bhava!

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  1. Pallavi

    Right knowledge at the right time.

    • Surender

      I am too going through the same situation, thank you for bringing to us this valuable piece of knowledge, Jai Gurudev.

    • gautami

      You have put it very well. I think most of us living outside of India face this question and you have answered it very well. Thanks


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