Karma in Marriages
Question:
If a husband and wife think differently, how does the karma work between them?
Answer
Each has his/her own karma. Suppose, one is negative in his approach to life and other is positive, for them the karma equation is simple: Negative thoughts = Bad Karma & Positive thoughts = Good Karma. Karma is created by the raaga & dvesha attached with a thought/action. When they jointly do an action/or encourage a thought, whoever has raaga & dvesha, he/she will accrue Karma accordingly just the way you accrue vacation days. Thus the Karma bank keeps increasing.
Question:
Ektaji , Thank you so much! Lovely getting so much knowledge, and that becomes even more and more clear with so many questions from the seekers.I too have a question that keeps me confused at times:-
If I understand correctly, you get born, have your education and get married as per your Karma’s in your previous births, and you even get married to someone per your destiny and Karma. But if the married life becomes very stressful and you even don’t see any chances of getting it better in future, then should you accept all this as your Karma? and keep staying in it. How will my free will work in this kind of situation? How can I end my Karmas that have lead me into this situation, so that I don’t carry them to my next births?
Answer:
Lord Krishna says ‘Yogah karmasu kaushalam’! Skill in action is yoga! With some skill, glide through your karmas, being careful not to create new ones by getting attached to the people, events and things. Getting attached means having an expectation, being angry, being too excited, being feverish, being jealous, being greedy, being hateful, being lustful, etc.
Then Arjuna asks Lord Krishna, per my Karma, what is the right decision for me? Should I fight the war or not? To which Krishna replies, “This war is yours and the result of this war is also yours. If you ask me to take this decision for you, remember, that will not happen. All I can tell you is the action taken without any attachment to the end result, is the right action! A series of such actions without attachment, where you are neither carried away by happiness nor depressed by sadness, and where you maintain a calm and balanced mind, will exhaust your bag of karmas and get you out of this cycle of birth and death.
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Can you inherit someone’s misfortune if you are married to them? Ever since I married this man, I feel like nothing is working for me. As if everything is blocked. I can be so close to getting a good job and it never works out. Although we are separated, we still sleep together from time to time and I’m wondering if until I sign those divorce papers will this continue.
Stella dear
Un fathomable are the ways of Karma. You can never pinpoint specifically what is because of what.
Therefore Lord Krishna advices to just relax and go with the flow! All will be well soon.