Question:

We do not choose where we are born or what profession we choose, but we choose whom we get married to or have kids. Also, the kind of people who come into our life is a result of our past karmas – good or bad.

• • If I did not have a choice in my education or the source of my wealth, why am I struggling with my career? I can’t seem to focus on my career or earn a living; even though I was totally in awe and love with it in college.
  • If I have a Guru to guide me (and be there every time), why am I struggling to prosper on this spiritual path? There seems to be always a conflict between my relationship with my spouse and child and my commitment to my practices. I want to be there for my family as I chose them and I have my dharma towards them; but in the process, I am unable to be totally present to fulfill my spiritual duties (beyond my daily practice) or do seva like I used to…if I choose one, the other suffers. I do not want to create havoc in my family to pursue my spiritual goals, whats the solution?

Answer:

Let’s understand one principle – However strong one’s daivam [past karma that is bearing fruit today] maybe, one’s purushartha [today’s self-effort] has the potential to override it. Thus your today’s purushartha is what will lead to your tomorrow’s agami. If your present Purushartha [self-effort] is filled with raaga & dvesha, the same raaga & dvesha will materialize in future [agami]. So a wise one keeps making efforts today, dropping all raagas & dveshas as they arise, again & again. I call this Zabardast Purushartha [incessant self-effort].

1a) Education is daivam. That’s how you became an engineer/doctor. But what you make out of that daivam [education] depends on your efforts today. This self-effort is called Purushartha. One’s purushartha can supersede the daivam so keep making efforts in that direction.

• • Never ever think that ‘Oh, I am not finding a job or I am not getting successful in my job, this is my bad karma’. Never resort to these types of thoughts, it is only an excuse of the mind to stop making efforts. You be stronger than the mind and keep infinite patience.
  • Everything is moving, everything is temporary, this phase shall also pass because life is a flowing river. So move with the flow, the storm shall pass and the river will come to a point where the flow of the water becomes gentle. So keep smiling, giving 100% to the present moment and flow with it.

1b) Source of wealth is Daivam, it is the wealth in which you are born. Eg. whether you are born in a palace or a hut. But it is your Purushartha how rich you become in this lifetime. So your job is to keep making efforts without creating raaga or dvesha as that raaga & dvesha will be your agami.

2a) Marriage & Children – One chooses his/her own spouse [even if it is an arranged marriage], one chose to be with the person of parent’s choice, so finally it is one’s own choice. This choice happens because of a past karma with that person. He/She was bound to come your way. You may or may not choose to marry the person but it is definitely your past karma with him/her that is responsible for the two of you to meet & be together as long as the karma lasts (remember every karma has an expiry date).

Once a couple meets, the karma exchange between them begins. So if your spouse is supportive, be happy about it but if your spouse is ‘not supportive’, be happier about it. Why? Because he/she is taking your karma away, the karma debit is happening from your account, be at peace with it. Soon the negative account balance will become ZERO. Wait for it patiently without creating new karma by raaga & dvesha otherwise there will be a ‘karma credit charge’ with the same person and the cycle continues. So be smart about it, do not give into your ego/desires & refrain from creating raaga & dveshas. Say to yourself ‘sab thik hai’ – ‘all is well’. Learn to be with what is…… What is, IS!

2b) Spiritual growth – Where you began with your spiritual journey in this life time is the same station where you got off in your previous lifetime. Constant effort [Purushartha] to keep yourself in Knowledge is extremely essential to progress spiritually. Keep making every effort to be in this beautiful wisdom. If the elements around you are not permitting you to go & do seva, doesn’t matter, being at your home/office, cultivate the bhava of seva.

What is seva?

Seva is a neutral action where no karma is created. It is actually the pure state of mind while doing seva that enhances a person’s spiritual growth. Not the action of doing something but the state of ‘non – expectation’ in the mind that really transforms an individual. There are many people who do seva with an expectation of appreciation, or with ego, or sometimes to show off, then it is not seva, it is a wasted action as a karma is created. So being at home/office turn every action into seva…purify your mind to act spontaneously without any doer-ship, devoid of raaga & dvesha.

However busy one is, one can keep oneself in knowledge. This ancient wisdom was inaccessible earlier but in this day & age of technology, it is at our finger tips literally so keep the mind pure by baking in gyana agni. Everything else will fall into place!