Question:

If someone deeply insults and plays drama for their needs or hurts, how to get away from it saying, ‘it’s OK’? Mind doesn’t allow due to self-respect. How do I do it?

Answer:

Right from the moment you are born, the play that is life brings all kinds of genres your way, tragedy, comedy, romance, action, thrill, music, etc. You are not asked whether you want to be born or not. You are not asked whether these parents will do or not. You are not asked before a surprise or a shock is thrown your way. You must go through whatever comes your way. Now what is the intelligent thing to do here? Is it intelligent to crib and cry and worry when things are not the way you want them or is it intelligent to just ‘be with what is’?

When you are with ‘what is’, devoid of all the unnecessary feverishness of ‘this should not be like this’, ‘this is not fair’, etc. then the mind is calm and composed. Whatever decisions you take with a calm and composed mind, are sensible and fruitful. There is success in the action that comes from a calm mind. On the other hand, an agitated mind, only cribs and cries about how unfair the world and life is. Such an agitated mind cannot take the right decision. The action that come out of such an agitated mind, usually will create more chaos in life. You decide what is the best way to live?

If your intellect says that the best way is to be calm, you are on the right track.

Now how do you do it?

First step – say it’s OK. Just accepting the situation or person means letting go of the feverishness in the mind and focusing on the situation as is.

Second step – Take a decision on what needs to be the action from your side with a calm mind. [Maintaining the calmness of the mind might require constant reminder to stay calm and let go of the feverishness].

Third Step – You must act as required in the situation, for e.g. if it is required of you to educate the person of his wrong-doing, you must do that.

Fourth Step – In this case, after you have educated the person, it is useless to keep repeating the record in the mind – ‘He should not have done that’, ‘this is the way to do’, ‘I hope this does not turn out like that’, etc. This repetition of the same thing in the mind is called worry. This leads to stress. You are responsible for this stress accumulation, not the other person, because you chose to continue repeating the record in your mind.

It is your job after educating him/her to completely drop the event from your mind/let go. This letting go is saying, ‘It’s okay’, again and again and again, got it?