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I have a very personal question. What is significance of sex in our marriage? If I am not the body, and only the consciousness, then how do I define sex or lovemaking with my spouse? Is sex divine? Or is it more of us not able to control our urges?


First it is important to understand where this attraction for another person originates from. Imagine a big brick of magnet falls down and breaks into a hundred pieces. All these pieces are going to be attracted to each other and have that inner deep desire to unite.

It is the same thing with Brahman, we are all Purushas broken up from that ONE Brahman. We have this innate desire to unite. It is an insatiable hunger. This is satisfied in the early lives by sex and food. When you graduate to a human life, one starts conquering objects and people in an attempt to unite. Sometimes we don’t even know why this attraction for certain objects and people exists. Raaga for material objects and raga for a beautiful woman/man has its roots in this innate desire of the spirit to unite with consciousness.

And at some point of this journey of lifetimes, one develops the spiritual thirst if one is fortunate. It is the thirst to unite with the consciousness! This uniting with the Divine Consciousness is the highest form of sex. The sex of the soul! It is enlightenment!


Di as Guru ji said that there is gradation in sex…so I do understand first two but I am bit confused for the last one as I get it in the last one we are completely in love with divine and we become one with the supreme consciousness But why it’s one of the graduation of sex…In this state you are free from the craving for sex…You have risen above all the relations…Please explain.


Beautiful question dear! Sex of the soul is the highest type of sex. In others words it is union with the soul. We are all a part of that ONE Brahman consciousness. We have broken out of that ONE Brahman, that is why we feel incomplete, that is why we are attracted to each other. The real thirst is to go back to that Brahman from which we broke out at the beginning of this creation. Finally when we unite with the Brahman, it is called enlightenment. That is the ONLY thirst! It is the greatest thirst! And this thirst can be quenched when we unite with the Brahman thus this union is called Sex of the soul or the highest union.

It is the same thirst that makes us thirst for objects – that translates to greed. It is the same thirst that makes us thirst for attention of others – that translates to thirst for name and fame. It is the same thirst that that makes us want to be with an individual and unite physically – that translates as lust for another human [physical sex]. When our understanding is rudimentary we run after objects and people and crave sex. When we become wiser on this path of knowledge, then this thirst translates to the highest thirst for the divine. It translates to devotion or pure love. And that is what is called the sex of the soul, where the small mind that is seeking pleasures in the objects of the 5 senses turns inwards and unites with the big mind.

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  1. Arti

    My husband had an affair with my best friend. I loved and was devoted to both of them. Now he divorced me and has got engaged to her. In the process they both have cited many reasons for why i deserved to be divorced and why their actions are justifyied and not a betrayal. I am unable to forgive them even though I understand the concept of karma, it feels unfair, deceitful and dishonest. I am very pained by this. I am unable to understand why selfish people who hurt others go on and enjoy life and I feel pain?

    • Nehal Shah

      Remember, whatever others are doing is their karma, how we react is ours. Best of luck!

  2. manmohan m chawda

    Though there is intense desire to get to the higher i.e.SEX OF SOUL but somehow the thoughts of PHYSICAL SEX of the past don’t leave the mind inspite of following all the practices sincerely as suggested from time to time.WHAT TO DO?DOES THESE UNWANTED THOUGHTS CREATE FURTHER KARMAS AND COMPLICATES THE GOAL?

    • Ekta

      If there is an intense craving, it will create agami karma…. But with effort, one can come out of the trap of karma creation. Not by resisting the desire for sex but by just being an observer and realizing the futility of the action, one can transcend it easily.

  3. prashant

    So Desire of sex is not a problem but craving for sex is a problem is what I understand. I personally had instances when I do it, I am in a observer state and I can feel that its not me who is doing it. Is it common or is that what we have to do. Please guide

    • Nehal Shah

      There are two primordial desires, for our survival. One to procreate (leading to sex) and other for food. Both are necessary for our survival as spices. All other desires are easier to overcome compared to this two. That is why so. many religions prescribe, abstinence (reducing frequency of sex) and fasting (reduction of food).

      The desire for sex has many side effects. If indulged in wanton fashion, it can lead to the breaking of relationships, unwanted progeny, etc. But, even worse is losing of Semen. Science will tell you that each drop of semen has a couple of million sperm. Each of these entities is capable of forming a complete human life. To produce these perfect human making machines, your body will have to provide the best anti-oxidants. Your body will be leeched of all essential materials. The more indulgence in sex, more vigorous the leeching process. Ayurveda(medical system of India) prescribes the preservation of semen. Meaning reducing the frequency of indulgence.

      And this is not a novel concept. Even greeks like Socrates and other great once prescribed preservation of this vital energy.

      So, this indulgence is not just a mental desire control issue. It is directly related to improved health.


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