Question:
I have a strong and a very old habit of indulging in story creation and I realized it only after studying Chapter 12. This is the reason why I am not able to move ahead on the path, I am still at the level of doer and experiencer. I the Witness keep interrupting with the body-mind, not letting it sink into the Unknown. I also keep labeling myself as slow, not as good as others, and blah blah, which itself is not letting the ego die. I realized that there is a constant feverishness in me for Enlightenment which itself is a big obstacle because I am not going with the flow.

Answer:
It is your honesty and humility that keeps you self-propelled, that is why you are here. This group is only for the spiritually self-propelled ones dear.

Whenever the ego throws a tantrum, stand apart and notice:

• • This is simply the body-mind working on its own past conditioning on autopilot.
  • I have got NOTHING to do with it. I am the nothingness in which this body-mind appeared this morning and will dissolve in the night.

Then let everything dissolve into the nothingness [including both the story as well as the storyteller]. Just dissolve! Be nothing! 

Secondly, you must know that one needs to have the desire for Enlightenment in order to proceed ahead on the Advaita spiritual path. It is called Mumukshutva in Advait Vedanta. Mumukshutva is the intense longing for self-realization. It is like falling in love. Pining in love for your beloved is a sign of true love for the truth!

Ramkrishna Paramhansa was asked, “We are all so disciplined and dedicated. Why do we not get it even after you have repeated it so many times?”

Ramakrishna answered [not in these exact words, I am paraphrasing here] – “One cannot get there if he lacks Vyakulata. Dedication and discipline are simply the skin of it. Vyakulata is the real pulp that is required to be eaten to actually enjoy the fruit.”

In other words, unless it is your highest priority, it will NOT happen.

Thus, I would not worry about your thirst for Enlightenment but don’t compare yourself with others because you are then taking the stand of the body-mind again. You are not the body, you are not the jealous, competitive mind. Remind yourself, “The body and mind can do what they are programmed to do from past conditioning, I simply learn to dissociate myself from them and remain as the nothingness that I am”.

Don’t make it an ambition that the body-mind should change 100%, that might not happen until the death of the body. It would be a silly condition to put on the anatma [body-mind]. Just remember that ‘I am beyond’ and stay there, my dear!

I am right by your side!

#AtmaNirvriti #AtmanandaKrishnaMenon #AdvaitaVedanta #Non-duality #Nisargadatta Maharaj