Question:

Dear Didi,
Doubts arise, like – Am I truly embodying the teachings? Am I justifying it? I find myself unable to sit in stillness for 30–40 minutes, and unable to move forward in Swapna Nidra Gnyana Sadhana. I feel as though I’m sitting in no-man’s land, wearing the mask of the Witness. I am neither in the world nor abiding in Pure Consciousness. I’m writing to seek your guidance on my decision whether I should step away from the knowledge. Didi, is this a phase, a flow, or an illusion I am passing through?

Answer:

This is a phase dear. It comes like seasons; don’t pay it any attention.

The nature of the mind is to play games with itself in the search for identification. It first plays the game of interest. Then, it indulges in the game of learning. When the learning curve plateaus, it searches for another Dopamine kick and hence wants out. When it is out for a while, it regrets. It returns to what was left half-baked. It plays the game all over again.

Interest ==>>  Indulgence ==>> Dopamine Kick ==>> Excitement in the newfound identity ==>> Plateau ==>> Boredom ==>> Seeking new identification ==>> Quit ==>> Regret ==>> Return to Interest. 

This vicious cycle continues relentlessly.

It fools the ignorant who have not studied the patterns of their own mind. These patterns keep repeating and only bring misery. The misery lies in the seeking tendency. The misery lies in concocting excuses for following the mental seasons, as it is not itself convinced about what it must do.

The wise one realizes that this is just the mind’s game. One must continue to work through the plateau and stay committed instead of jumping from one waking object to another. 

Dive within yourself, recognize this pattern, and make your decision wisely! Even if the flow takes you otherwise, so be it. Simply go with the flow! It might be your opportunity to understand the patterns of the mind, my dear. What is, is!

If the inner voice overrides the tantrums of the mind and compels you to adhere to your commitment to your spiritual path, begin with any knowledge session on the Gnyana Sagha website and immerse yourself in serious self-inquiry, journal writing, and note-taking while watching the knowledge videos. Website link – https://www.gnyanasangha.com/

If you feel you need the support of a Sangha, you can request a Zoom weekly session for a knowledge series that you would like to join, along with other Gnyana Sangha participants. Email – Ekta.GnyanaSangha@Gmail.com.

If you feel that you would like to do a knowledge-related seva task that will impel you to stay in knowledge, email – Seva4GnyanaSangha@Gmail.com.

Most spiritual questions have already been answered on the blog – https://ektabathija.com/ancient-wisdom-pearls-blog/ OR in the books available on Amazon USA – https://www.amazon.com/author/ektabathija. But if you have a follow-up spiritual question, feel free to email Questions4Ekta@Gmail.Com.

Keep chugging! I am right by the side of an earnest spiritualist!