Question:

After working with a person, some habit/pattern and memory came up. It reminds me that she acted like my ex-boss who needs us to respect her and follow her lead; but at some points, my ego tells me: No, this is not right! I should do those things which I think is right. As the result, she felt that I don’t respect her, and I felt that she just uses the age/position to force us to do things. She also felt ashamed after my disrespectful behavior. How to deal with her and how do I behave? Is she my karma?

Answer:

How to behave with others?

There are many types of people that we will meet but we must learn how to deal with them. Just because somebody is older to you or higher in some status does not make them a wiser person. Similarly, if someone is younger than you in age and less than you in status or experience, it does not make them less wise.

There are 2 things that we must understand very clearly:

1. One must respect everybody at any age and level of seniority because one can get enlightened at any age. And that is a fact!
2. Disrespecting others leaves an impression on your own mind and increases the weight of your own karma bag.

What to do if others misbehave?

Having said that, if you come across a person who does not respect your opinions, then how to deal with them? Remember, everyone is entitled to their opinions. If you are working together with such a person who thinks differently, you must respectfully decline if your Dharma propels you to do so. Now what is Dharma?

Dharma means doing the right action that is spontaneous and devoid of raaga and dvesha.

1. Devoid of raaga and dvesha: If you have a certain like or dislike and you act out of your like and dislike, you are not spontaneous as you have acted out of your raaga and dvesha and therefore you are not following your Dharma. This will definitely leave an impression in your Karma bag.
2. Spontaneous action: There is a very fine line between right and wrong so I will not use those words, I will say that any action/thought that causes a pinch inside you, that causes a doubt inside you [whether it is appropriate or not] or causes you to wince is not a spontaneous action and therefore not the right action. Spontaneous action comes from your pure nature of love and compassion not from your mental conditioning of hatred, greed, jealousy, ego, want, not want, should be, shouldn’t be, etc.

So, you act out of your Swa-dharma [swa means self] and that is the best action. When you always act like that spontaneously and devoid of raaga and dvesha, it will not leave a pinch inside you and not cause an impression in your Karma bag.

That is how a wise one lives, even if it costs him his ego. A fool will always give more importance to his ego than his Dharma. You choose the higher path, be wise! Got it?