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Question:

Why does everyone feel lonely, irrespective of age, gender, or whether surrounded by people or not? From the Advaita perspective, I know there are no others, and there is only Brahman. ‘Others’ is my figment of imagination. When the glimpse of ‘There is only Brahman’ had been seen, there was the highest level of fear of ‘This is so scary that there is no one else and only Me, there never was anyone else, and there will never be anyone else. I have always been alone, the only one.’ Of course, this fear belonged to the illusory ego. How to navigate through this arising of ‘loneliness’ in Me-the-Consciousness? Shouldn’t the realization of ‘There is only Brahman’ bring peace and joy, rather than fear of being alone? I know that until I am freed from the misidentification of ‘I am this person,’ this fear will remain. Still, I would like to request step-by-step guidance on how to go from the fearful ‘I am lonely’ feeling to a peaceful, joyful realization of ‘There is only Brahman.’

 

Answer:

Yes, my dear, one alone is! That is the highest reality! There is aloneness there, but not loneliness. The journey of moving from loneliness to aloneness comprises two parts: Brahman Satyam and Jagat Mithya.

Brahman Satyam is the easy part of the journey. It is Jagat Mithya that takes time and effort. That is what you are going through.

Let me first explain the two parts here for the benefit of all.

Brahman Satyam journey: This is the first part of the spiritual journey for an earnest seeker. Walking on this path, it is realized that there is only Brahman.

    • Thoughts are Brahman.
    • Feelings are Brahman.
    • Sensations are Brahman.
    • Perceptions of sight, sound, smell, taste, touch – all are Brahman.

In short, the entire world is Brahman. There never was a world outside of Awareness; it was always Brahman – the Vast Expanse of Infinite Awareness.

In Awareness itself, imaginations of sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, thought, feeling, and sensations arise and disappear like waves in the ocean.

    • Sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch are assumed to be the Waking World.
    • Thoughts, feelings, and sensations are assumed to be the Waker in the Waking World.

Following the ‘I-sense’ that falsely claims to be the Waker, one realizes that the ‘I’ disappears into an infinite field of Awareness, moment to moment. When one gets to the infinite Awareness, there is the realization that ‘I still AM’ when the ‘I’ is not.

If this is not realized instantly on listening/reading, that means one is not a Shravaka [a candidate for instant enlightenment]. Out of humility, one must then resort to effort. The effortful ways in which this can be seen are:

    • Wake-dream-sleep exploration (Swapna Nidra Gnyana Sadhana)
    • Closed-eyed Samadhi
    • Open-eyed Self-inquiry

Brahman Satyam is the easy part of the journey. It is not hard. Only some wakeful and ripe ones get there quicker than those who are raw and crude. [I will explain raw and crude in another blog post]. That is the only difference.

Jagat Mithya journey: This is the time-consuming and effort-demanding part of the journey. Jagat Mithya journey cannot be skipped, nor can it be effortless for the Non-Shravaka. Only raw and crude minds are lazy and resistant to applying effort and try to find short-cuts masked as effortless paths.

One must realize that one exerts a lot of effort to make oneself believe that this imaginary world, illusory body, transient relationships, dream-like objects, and imaginary events are all true. One will have to put in an equal amount of effort to erase that false personal belief. As the belief is personal, nobody else can wipe it away but you. Old conditioning must be wiped away completely – This is non-negotiable!

Until the old conditioning persists, there will be cravings, aversions, and fears. That is what you are going through currently, my dear. The fear always belongs to the ‘I’ that wants to exist as an individual entity in this imaginary world. This fear exists until ‘Brahman Satyam’ is promoted from a glimpse to a permanent reality. The sign that Reality has been established is Abhaya, or the absence of fear.

There are no fixed steps to establish Brahman Satyam or Jagat Mithya, but one must ensure that there are no partial truths selectively being held onto while discarding bitter ones. Some ways that have helped Non-Shravaka’s in the history of Spirituality are:

    • Degrees of SEEing: The degrees of Seeing that we go through in the Advaita retreats ensure that there is no partial seeing that one is clasping onto. It ensures that all 20 are seen by the spiritual seeker. This prevents the risk of being a fallen Yogi [one who falls from his Direct SEEing].
    • Closed-eyed Samadhi: In addition to the 20 degrees, one must establish in silent long Samadhi sittings to see the 3 milestones of ‘bodylessness’, ‘thoughtlessness’, and ‘I-lessness’ repeatedly until the ‘Not-I’ is established in the Waking. This is the time-consuming and effort-demanding part. The closed-eyed Samadhi is required for the one who cannot get established just by listening to the wisdom. Only Shravakas have the ripeness required for attainment by listening. If one knows that one is not a Shravaka, one must have the humility to accept it and dive into Samadhi.
    • Open-eyed Self-Inquiry or Samadhi: The closed-eyed Samadhi automatically establishes into open-eyed Samadhi, where there is Awakened Sleep or Jagrat-Sushupti. One is asleep to the Waking illusion and wakeful towards one reality in Sleep.
    • Wake-Dream-Sleep Exploration or Swapna Nidra Gnyana Sadhana: The most essential and non-negotiable part of the journey is to overcome the idea that ‘I wake’, ‘I dream’, and ‘I sleep’. Only this takes one to the final SEEing that the ‘I’ is only a thought that disappears into something beyond. This SEEing of Turiya and Turiyatita reveals that the ‘I’ dies daily and ‘I am not-I’, hence ‘I cannot die’. This leads to Abhaya or Fearlessness. That is when aloneness is truly embraced, naturally without effort, as it is one’s own true state. Then it becomes the Sahaja Stithi or natural state. This is seen both in Closed-eyed Samadhi as well as Wake-Dream-Sleep exploration.

All of the above are done together with the Sangha in Advaita retreats.

One must not wait on the sidelines, simply reading the wisdom occasionally, and expecting that it will happen on its own. One must seek it with a strong yearning. It is like losing your car keys. You must look for them seriously; you cannot sit on the couch and expect the keys to find you. Similarly, the Jagat Mithya journey demands effort. Only effort takes you to permanent establishment.

I will give a few pointers that seem to work for all. These are not sequential steps. These are not a methodology. These are simply random SEEing that must be inquired deeply into on a daily basis. These pointers will come in the next post. See you there!

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