Enlightenment makes me greedy!
JGD Ektaji, Thanks for sharing this beautiful thought, but I believe thinking about enlightenment itself is a kind of suffering. You constantly work hard towards it reminding yourself that enlightenment is your end goal. I have read it somewhere that Enlightenment is just a by-product; you cannot do anything about it. This is the beauty of by-products: you to do something else and the by-product comes to you as a free gift. I think one has to learn to be in the present more and more and just follow the 5 nectar points prescribed by Ashtavakra (Kshama, Arjiva, daya, tosha and satya) and constantly indulge yourself in sadhana, seva and satsang and enlightenment will come to you for free, who knows.. (again only if your duties towards karma have been fulfilled
I have no knowledge on this. I am just at a very beginner level. Just like a blind man, following the path that is shown in our ancient literature and that comes through your mouth Just trying to erase the word called enlightenment from my dictionary. I feel it makes me greedy, just want to work “nirswarth”. I hope I will be ok Always looking for your guidance.
That is such a beautiful realization, and you honestly accept that “wanting enlightenment” makes you greedy. You are courageous enough to say this. That is so beautiful! But at the same time, there is no need to erase “Enlightenment” from your dictionary, that suggests resistance/aversion. What you resist will persist! Instead, become so established in the neutral gear that a high gear or low gear does not affect your movement. Become so established in Sambhava – equanimous intellect that even the thoughts of attainment (of Moksha) or failure do not touch you. And your inner Guru will definitely lead you there! Let’s understand how he does this……
The mind has gone through thousands of lifetimes to reach this level of maturity. Every lifetime it needed to hang on to something or the other. It uses raaga and dvesha like hooks. It really tries very hard to save its dear life (Ego). But when one’s intellect reaches this level of maturity, the mind starts losing its control over these raaga and dvesha. That’s when it rebels the most like a little stubborn child that is not ready to let go of his favorite candy. Then a kind mother takes the toy away but replaces it with a sweet fruit like a grape and tells the child that this is even better than the sugar candy because this is nature’s candy. And in sometime the child becomes forgets the sugar candy!
It is the same process our mother (inner Guru Tatva) is doing with the stubborn child (our small mind). The inner Guru substitutes the candy of this Samsara with the candy of Enlightenment. Once you forget the Samsara and are tightly holding on to the thoughts of Enlightenment, he then tells you, “now drop this craving for Enlightenment/Liberation also”.
When you do not care for happiness, you are liberated and when you do not even care for liberation, you attain love. The first step is when you do not care for happiness. The second step is parama vairagya (supreme dispassion) when you do not even care for liberation, then you are actually free. This is very important to understand and apply.
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