Question:

Guruji says that, “Do not help anyone unless he or she asks for help”.  My assumption is Guruji is saying this because we will feel hurt when he/she do not appreciate us but I feel like helping others who suffer. Can I drop expectation and just help? I am very confused. Am I doing right?

Answer:

If your parents saw you stumbling when you were a toddler learning to walk and decided to carry you in their arms instead of letting you stumble, would you ever learn to walk? No!

Similarly, God gives us only those problems which are meant to teach us a lesson. You will never ever get a problem that is not meant for you to learn and grow from. God’s justice is like Mathematics. It is 100% fair. If you have received any kind of suffering in your life, it was due to you. It was your karma. It was bound to come to you.

Why was it bound to come to you?

• Firstly, because you need to learn some kind of a lesson, grow and mature. 
• Secondly, because you need to exhaust a bad karma from the past.

In either situation, if someone tries to protect you from the law of karma/law of natural maturity, it is not helpful. In fact, he/she might become an obstacle in your growth.

Do you now understand why Guruji says not to help someone unless they ask for it? It is only when somebody feels helpless in a situation and realizes that they cannot do anything on their own about it, then only do they extend their hand out for help and that is the time you should help somebody.

A guru’s heart is thousand times more compassionate than a mother’s heart.  He would definitely tell you what is right.  So follow the guru.  Help people only when they ask for help.  If they do not ask for help, it’s okay! They are just learning to stand up on their own and start walking.  Let them gain that strength.  It will help their confidence.