Dealing with sadness…
Question:
There are instances when someone just blurts out anger for nothing I did (some people have anger management issues and I know that) and my reaction usually tears, going in silence and feeling hurt. Is that my bucket of anger too? If not, how do I stop reacting the way I do?
Answer:
Your reaction is not anger, it is sadness.
Sadness comes out of ‘not getting what one wants’.
‘What one wants’ is an expectation.
An expectation is nothing but one’s own Raaga.
Raaga is nothing but few words in the mind that one holds on to tightly.
Recognize that words are just the weapon of the Ego with which it hurts itself before hurting others.
Let go of words, then automatically things will fall into place.
Raaga will drop.
Expectation will drop.
Want will drop.
Sadness will drop.
The reaction will drop.
You will be free! Let go of the words. Self-talk is not healthy. Let go! Dive into the silence behind the words.
Let go!
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Beautiful
Very very nice pointer to introspect !
Very good point by Ektaji. “Expectation is root of all evils” – Bhagvad Gita.
Having expectation of other person that we will be treated fairly, justly, nicely is a serious hindrance in spiritual path. Karma can use these people to hurt a spiritualist.
Spiritualist should drop all expectations. Just do Karma(actions) without expectations (fruits). Absolutely stop expecting. Even from spouse. Worst is when we judge our spouse for not living upto our expectations. In this world of competing priorities and distractions, it is impossible to find spouse who is not distracted. A spiritualist should stop expecting and subsequent judging. One question a spiritualist should ask himself/herself.
Are we “Jina” (according to Jain scriptures) yet?
If not, we should not be looking at mistakes of others, weather it is words, actions or whatever. Just focus on “the man in the mirror (Michael Jackson)”
I think Jesus said this
“People living in glasshouses should not be throwing stones at others”
So, taking a statement, judging it even sub-consciously as negative, should be avoided. It is easier said than done. And all of us have lot of work to do on this front.
Thank you Ektaji for inspiring and guiding us!!!
ekta ji, any human except Guru will have the expectation rising in them because of living in the word and kind of life we are brought up in. How can we drop this? The Answer is knowledge I hope from your side but if we start behaving in knowledge you have to drop the wordly things which might not be practical to everyone. Many times we know the root cause but cannot come out even I do Sadhna. How can one drop the trust from someone whom you trust and with trust comes expectation.
It is a personal journey Devanshu. Instead of looking outside, start looking within for the source of happiness. When you find that source within, then all expectations from the outside world will drop away. Look within!