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Dear Ekta Didi, I observe a habit of talking to myself. I try hard not to speak, but I can’t stop it and then I join the conversation again! I have experienced a state of not talking to myself and just being, but I find it a very new thing and cannot remain long in it. Please help me.


Realize that the mind talks because we have given it absolute freedom to do what it wants. We have never learnt to discipline our own mind. We learnt ways of making the mind wilder, running behind passions/cravings and running away from aversions in life. But we never sincerely learnt how to graduate from a state of MIND to a state of NO MIND. Hence the mind is undisciplined and has developed the habit of incessant self-talk. Having recognized the root cause of the problem as the lack of discipline, one must make every attempt to now discipline the mind, if one wants to break this habit.

How to break the habit?

Step 1: Mother (or Father) your own mind.

Take a step back and realize the Truth:

  • I am not the mind, I am separate from the mind, that’s why I can hear it speaking incessantly.
  • I am not the mind, I am separate from the mind, that’s why in meditation I have experienced the state of ‘non-talking’ and ‘non-chatting’ of silence.

This understanding that I am separate from the mind armours one to move to the higher step.

Step 2: Recognize the one witnessing the mind.

Take a step back from the chitchat of the mind and check who is observing the chitchat. For example, right now you are reading this. The words are being perceived by the mind. Then they are being processed by the intellect. And YOU are just a witness to the perception and the processing. Are you aware of the witnessing element within?

Recognize that YOU are not making an effort to break away from something. You were not one with it in the first place. You were just disillusioned about being one with it. Now that you have recognized this, move on to step 3.

Step 3: Establish in ‘awareness’.

Constantly remind yourself when you get lost in the Maaya of the world and take a step back and BE AWARE.

What is the meaning of ‘Being aware’?

For example, if I say, “Be aware of this computer you are looking at”. You have taken your attention to the computer now. If I tell you, “Be aware of the chair you are sitting on”. Now has your attention gone to the chair? I will assume a “yes”. If I say, “Be aware of the posture of your own body right now”. You become aware of the posture of your body?

Now if I say, Just Be Aware. Does this change something?

You are just aware. There is no object to be aware of. You are just aware. Be aware of “being aware”. This is the centre point of your being, the core of your being. Just be there! If you get it, excellent! You have started your journey. If you don’t get it, it’s OK! You’ll get there someday as the seed is now sown.

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