Question:

Does Vairagya mean a giving up of non-religious pleasures like singing, dancing, poetry etc. or just give up hankering for them?

Answer:

Vai – raagya means devoid of raaga.

• • Who is not a vairaagi? – It does not matter whether you are dancing like a rock star or sky diving or meditating like a yogi or attending Hollywood parties in expensive formal attire if there is raaga & dvesha in the mind, you are not a vairaagi.
  • Who is a vairaagi? If your mind is free of like & dislike, free of should be & shouldn’t be, free of want and not want, free of dvandwa [dualities] of this way & that way, then you are a vairaagi.

Above all, it does not matter whether you live in a mansion or a hut, it does not matter whether you drive a Mercedes or walk, it doesn’t matter whether you wear a saffron robe or designer wear. One might become a monk but if his mind is a swamp of raaga & dvesha then it defeats the entire purpose of his spiritual growth.

A true vairaagi is the one who is equanimous whether he has no car or a Rolls Royce, who is equanimous whether he lives in a rental studio apartment or in a mansion. He is equanimous in whatever life brings his way.

What is the meaning of being equanimous? One who is equanimous, his emotions do not swing up & down with situations, people & things. When life throws him in a situation which is uncomfortable, it does not agitate him, he can smile. If life brings flowers he is not overexcited, he maintains balance in emotion. Simply put, his emotional graph does not go up & down but he maintains Sambhava – equanimous emotion.

A vairaagi can be found dancing & singing. And sometimes you might find raagas & dveshas in the so called babaji’s who leave their homes & run away to the Himalayas. So drop these wrong concepts & be brave & face the mirror & identify the raagas & dveshas that are an obstacle on the path of your own spiritual growth & start practicing Sambhava!

Question:

Will giving up hankering for these pleasures not cause a problem with personal relationships where people feel you do not care?

Answer:

How will you feel being with a person who is always calm & peaceful come what may? Would it be problematic for you to see somebody around you at peace? Guess you understood what I am saying.

Are you a Vairagi yet?