Question:

Didi one silly question

Is doing unwholesome behavior with unwholesome people justified? I got angry with a person at work who was gossiping and was very harmful towards me, so I gave her a taste of her own medicine, but since that incident I am feeling so bad that why I got angry why I let myself fill with revenge?. If I had let her behave inappropriately towards me then also I am frustrated, now I have shown her the door now also there is a pinch. Didi how to behave under such circumstances where you can’t avoid but to argue. Earlier if I was not into the knowledge, I would have felt proud that I shut somebody up, but now it’s like an ocean of guilt that I let myself loose into anger and revenge.

Answer:

Stage 1] Understanding Anger:

If you generate anger, the Law punishes you immediately by generating the fire and heat of anger within you immediately. You roll in the whirlpool of anger in your own mind.  Your body is hot, your mind is full of restless energy. It is more like self-torture. Only after a million flames of anger burn you inside do you then throw it out on others. But who got burnt first? Recognize this Truth in your own experience [by observing sensations] rather than just intellectually dear. Once it becomes very clear, you will stop generating anger because it will now seem like self-torture. You would rather let it go than burn your own mind in the fire of anger.

Stage 2] Natural fountain of Compassion:

A natural fountain of compassion gets generated within you whenever you see someone else in anger. You recognize that they are burning inside, they are unhappy within, they are suffering. Then instead of getting angry, you do your best to shorten his own self-torture duration.

It seems a difficult stage to achieve only when you feel that your anger is directed towards another. When one becomes clear, that anger is directed towards oneself, you achieve instant compassion. It’s not fake compassion. You cannot cultivate it. It is instant wisdom.

As a newbie in Stage 2, you will still feel a pinch inside because the critical words [analyzed by Sanya] of the other person still manage to create unpleasant sensations [Vedana] within you. But your practice of non-reaction will help douse the initial flame that sparks up from the Vedana. Just relax from that Vedana again and again. Remind yourself, it’s fire, don’t jump in!

Stage 3] Higher Understanding:

A higher understanding now starts developing within you. You will start valuing your inner Peace more than any outer material world drama. You realize that not everything needs to be answered. Sometimes merely a response of Silence suffices!

You will notice that the Ego still keeps trying to spark up the fire again and again because it does NOT care for an inner wholesome environment. But you have now matured to understand that if you put your hand in the fire, you get burnt first before you can scare another with a black charred zombie-like hand. You need to train this Ego to become wiser with this reminder that ‘Self-torture is definitely a fool’s act’.

Until you get there, the practice of ‘observing sensations without reacting’ is mandatory for a sincere spiritual seeker dear. Keep chugging!